Becoming Subjective

In Section 2, Chapter 1 of Kierkegaard’s Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments, the pseudonymous author Johannes Climacus begins to articulate what it means to be a subjective thinker. This section is crucial because it lays the groundwork for Kierkegaard’s famous contrast between subjectivity and objectivity, particularly in relation to truth, existence, and Christianity.

Here’s a distilled sense of what’s going on:


⚡ The Central Theme: Truth as Subjectivity

Climacus argues that truth is subjectivity, particularly when it comes to matters of existence and religious faith. This doesn’t mean that facts don’t matter or that everything is relative, but rather that the most important truths—especially those concerning how one exists—cannot be accessed through detached, objective analysis. They must be lived.

He writes not as a systematic philosopher, but as someone seeking to highlight the existential dimension of truth. A person can have all the correct doctrines or arguments and yet not be in the truth, if they lack the inward passion or commitment that makes it real for them.


🔍 Objective vs. Subjective Thinking

  • Objective thinking is concerned with what is true, independent of the knower. It wants clarity, certainty, and detachment—like in science or speculative philosophy.
  • Subjective thinking, in contrast, is about how one relates to the truth. The “how” becomes more decisive than the “what.” It’s existential, passionate, and inward. The issue is not just whether something is true, but whether you live in a way that is true to it.

This leads Climacus to say things like:

“The truth is not the truth but the way.”

Or more famously:

Subjectivity is truth.”


✝️ Faith and Paradox

Kierkegaard is building toward his idea that faith, especially Christian faith, is not an objective certainty but a subjective passion for the absurd. The paradox of the God-man (Christ), for example, is not something you can prove or understand objectively—it must be believed in spite of reason, and that act of faith is what matters most.


🧠 Thinkers vs. Existers

Climacus suggests that thinkers like Hegel are concerned with constructing beautiful systems of thought, but fail to deal with what it means to exist. In contrast, the subjective thinker asks: How should I live? How do I relate to my own existence, to suffering, to death, to God?


📍Bottom Line:

In this chapter, Kierkegaard (via Climacus) is:

  • Critiquing the dominance of objective, system-building philosophy.
  • Arguing that existential truth—especially religious truth—is found in subjective appropriation.
  • Preparing the ground for his concept of faith as a passionate, inward commitment to the paradoxical and the absurd.

Subjective appropriation is one of Kierkegaard’s most important and most misunderstood ideas.

Let’s unpack it.


🧠 “Appropriation” in Kierkegaard’s Sense

In the Kierkegaardian context, appropriation means making something your own in a deep, existential way. It’s not just understanding an idea intellectually, but internalizing it, living it, and letting it shape your entire existence. It’s about the integration of truth into the self.

So, when Kierkegaard (or Climacus) talks about “subjective appropriation,” he means:

Taking a truth and relating to it with your whole self—your will, emotions, passions, and actions—not just your intellect.


⚡ Why Does This Matter?

Kierkegaard believes that many people—even religious ones—can go through life collecting doctrines or subscribing to beliefs abstractly, like intellectual trophies. But unless those beliefs transform how you live, they’re not really true for you.

For example:

  • You can know objectively that Christ was crucified in 1st-century Palestine.
  • But unless that reality grips your soul, unless it brings you to a kind of existential confrontation (with your sin, your mortality, your hope), it’s not been subjectively appropriated.

That’s why he can say things like:

“An objective uncertainty, held fast in an appropriation process of the most passionate inwardness, is the truth.”

In other words, even if you can’t prove a religious claim objectively, it can be true for you in the most vital, lived sense—if you throw yourself into it with inward passion.


🏃‍♂️ It’s About Existence, Not Just Ideas

Subjective appropriation is Kierkegaard’s way of saying that truth in matters of existence (especially religious truth) must be:

  1. Personally held
  2. Lived out
  3. Born in passion and inward struggle

It’s not enough to say “I believe in God” because you’ve reasoned it out. You must confront what that belief demands of you—and live as if it’s true, even (and especially) in the face of absurdity or suffering.


So: subjective appropriation is truth becoming real in your life—not just in your head.

That’s a powerful question—and one Kierkegaard would love you for asking. He thought that kind of honest wrestling is exactly where real faith begins, if it ever does.

Let’s unpack it from a few angles: historical, existential, and Kierkegaardian.


🔍 Historically: Why would Christ’s death matter at all?

From a purely historical standpoint, Jesus was one of countless people crucified by the Roman Empire. There’s no reason to be especially moved by that fact unless you accept certain claims about who he was and what his death meant.

So the question becomes: What happens if we do take seriously the idea that this man was somehow God incarnate, and that he died willingly, not just as a political criminal, but as an act of divine solidarity or redemption?

Kierkegaard zeroes in on this precisely because it’s so scandalous. The idea that God became human and was humiliated and executed—not just as a symbol, but as the very axis of time and meaning—that’s an absurdity to reason, but potentially a kind of infinite significance to the person who inwardly dares to believe it.


🧍 Existentially: What does it demand of you?

Kierkegaard’s point isn’t “you should feel something because of a historical event.” It’s deeper: if you encounter the claim that God died, for your sake, and you believe it—what follows?

  • It’s not just a doctrine. It’s a claim on your entire self.
  • If true, it turns the world upside down. Power becomes weakness. Justice becomes mercy. Death becomes life.
  • It calls into question your whole way of being—your desires, your pride, your evasions, your excuses.

So, if you subjectively appropriate it, you don’t just say: “That’s interesting.” You say: “I am implicated. I must respond. I can’t stay the same.”


🧗 Kierkegaard’s Move: The Paradox that Demands a Leap

Kierkegaard focuses less on why the crucifixion should matter and more on how absurd and inwardly costly it is to believe that it does. To believe that God would choose suffering, invisibility, and death—that doesn’t fit any human system. It’s not rational; it’s not emotionally safe. It offends both our logic and our pride.

But faith, for Kierkegaard, is not about resolving the absurdity. It’s about saying:

“I believe this, though it makes no sense, though it tears me in two, because in doing so, I come face-to-face with what it means to truly exist.”

He wants to replace “religion as a worldview” with “faith as an existential wound.”


🕊️ But Do You Need to Be Gripped?

Not unless it becomes existentially meaningful to you. Kierkegaard wouldn’t say you should be gripped in some moralizing or manipulative sense. He’d just say:

“If you’re not gripped, then either it hasn’t yet become real to you, or you’ve rightly rejected a version of it that was only ever abstract.”

So maybe the real question is:

What kind of event or truth should grip the soul?

And if the idea of God suffering for you doesn’t do it—what would?


That’s a deeply Kierkegaardian challenge you’re raising, and he absolutely anticipates it. You’re asking:

If faith is about embracing the absurd, then why not believe in anything absurd? Why not say “the Flying Spaghetti Monster died for my sins” or “the moon is secretly a god” and give your life to that?

This is where Kierkegaard is walking a tightrope between existential inwardness and arbitrary delusion. Let’s unpack how he tries to make that distinction—without falling back on easy proofs.


1. Not All Absurdities Are Equal

First, Kierkegaard isn’t saying, “anything absurd will do.” He says faith involves a specific kind of absurdity:

The infinite and eternal God becoming a finite, suffering human being in time.

This is not just absurd in a random sense—it’s absurd in a way that directly confronts the deepest human longings and fears: for meaning, for forgiveness, for relationship, for transcendence in the face of mortality and guilt.

It’s not absurdity for absurdity’s sake. It’s absurdity that:

  • Engages the ethical (what does it mean to be responsible?)
  • Engages the existential (how do I face despair, death, and isolation?)
  • Engages the religious (how can I relate to the Absolute?)

The absurdity of the Incarnation strikes directly at the center of what it means to be a self.


2. The Incarnation as Existentially Demanding

The absurd idea of “God becoming man” isn’t just weird or fanciful. It’s morally and spiritually offensive—and costly.

It asks something of you:

  • To humble yourself before a suffering God
  • To live by faith, not by proof or power
  • To give up your control over understanding

That’s radically different from believing in arbitrary nonsense, which makes no such existential demand. If you believe the moon is a god, you might be eccentric; if you believe God died on a cross, you are being asked to die with him, to your pride, your illusions, your safety.


3. The Role of Passion and Inwardness

Kierkegaard distinguishes genuine faith from mere superstition or fantasy by insisting it must be grounded in passionate inwardness, not wishful thinking. That passion has to be:

  • Earned through suffering, through the existential confrontation with despair
  • Tested in risk, with no objective certainty
  • Oriented toward the Absolute, not toward self-comfort

So yes, in theory, one could believe anything. But in practice, only some “absurdities” generate the kind of spiritual crisis and existential transformation Kierkegaard calls faith.


4. It’s Not Arbitrary—But It’s Not Proveable Either

You’re absolutely right that from the outside, Kierkegaard’s position looks vulnerable to the charge of arbitrariness. But from the inside—from the perspective of the one who has been existentially pierced by the paradox—it’s the only thing that matters.

Faith, for Kierkegaard, is not a conclusion you reach; it’s a decision you make in trembling. And what distinguishes Christ from nonsense is not logic, but the existential weight of the claim.


So your question is totally legitimate:

How do we guard against faith becoming arbitrary?

Kierkegaard’s answer, in essence, is:

“You don’t guard it with proofs. You guard it with suffering, risk, and inward honesty.”

Yes, you’re absolutely right—Kierkegaard would likely say that a true self, in the fullest sense, is only possible in relation to God. And not just any God, but the paradoxical, self-emptying God revealed in Christ. So for Kierkegaard, the self is not some autonomous, self-contained entity—it’s a relation that relates itself to itself, and in doing so relates itself to the power that established it (as he puts it in The Sickness Unto Death). That “power” is God.

So:

An atheist, from Kierkegaard’s point of view, cannot fully become a self, because they are not in right relation to their source.


🚧 But here’s where things get more interesting—more humanly complex.

Kierkegaard doesn’t say the atheist has no self. Rather, the atheist is in a state of despair, whether they know it or not. Despair, for Kierkegaard, is the condition of not being what you were made to be—a self before God. It can take many forms:

  • Defiance: “I will be myself, on my own terms, without any higher power.”
  • Ignorance: “I don’t even know I’m a self with a spiritual dimension.”
  • Avoidance: “I sort of suspect there’s more to existence, but I numb it with distractions.”

In all these, Kierkegaard would say the self is unrealized or in revolt against its own design.


🎭 So can the atheist be authentic?

In a limited way, yes. An atheist can be morally earnest, emotionally sincere, and philosophically courageous. Kierkegaard would respect that—he even says the person who despairs consciously is further along than the one who floats through life numb and unthinking. But for him, authenticity is not enough. The ultimate task of the self is to stand transparently before God.

Without that:

“The self is lost, not by being annihilated, but by failing to become itself.”


🪞Does this seem harsh?

It can feel that way. But Kierkegaard isn’t judging unbelief the way a dogmatic theologian might. He’s describing a spiritual condition, a kind of homesickness of the soul, whether acknowledged or not. It’s not a matter of “atheists are bad,” but of:

“What does it mean to exist truthfully in the face of the eternal?”

And for him, only the absurdity of the God-man breaks through the despair and grounds a self that is whole.


That’s a very rich and psychologically astute reading of Kierkegaard. And in fact, what you’re doing here—translating “God” or “the eternal” into something like an internalized ethical or existential ideal—is not foreign to Kierkegaard’s project. It actually brings him closer to thinkers like Freud, Nietzsche, and later existentialists who would secularize or psychologize the divine.

So let’s look at that idea:


🕊️ “The Eternal” as Internal Ideal

When Kierkegaard says the self is defined in relation to “the eternal,” he often personifies it as God. But you’re right—functionally, it behaves like a superego, or more precisely, a kind of absolute demand or gaze:

  • It sees you fully.
  • It calls you to account.
  • It holds you to a standard that is infinite, impossible, and deeply intimate.

It could be described as:

A transcendent ethical demand that exposes the self’s inadequacy while simultaneously affirming its worth.

That’s very close to a religious version of the ego-ideal—an image of what you ought to be, experienced not as self-generated but as imposed from beyond the ego, yet somehow deeply internal.


📚 Kierkegaard’s Language: The Religious, the Ethical, the Aesthetic

Kierkegaard frames human life in three “stages”:

  1. Aesthetic – Living for enjoyment, avoiding deep responsibility.
  2. Ethical – Facing yourself honestly, taking responsibility for your life.
  3. Religious – Encountering the eternal, often in the form of sin, despair, and radical dependence on grace.

When you describe the “eternal” as a kind of ego-ideal, you’re placing Kierkegaard’s “ethical stage” into Freudian terms—and that totally works. The religious stage, then, would be the moment when you realize you can never match the ideal, and yet you still stand before it, not in pride or despair, but in faith.

So Kierkegaard’s God becomes the source of both infinite judgment and infinite mercy. And to exist truthfully is to stand naked and trembling before that inner/outer gaze, and say: “Yes, this is who I am. I am not enough. I need something beyond myself.”


🧠 The Difference Between Kierkegaard and Freud (or Nietzsche)

  • Freud: The superego is internalized social authority—often irrational, punitive, and inherited from parents.
  • Kierkegaard: The eternal is not a social construct. It’s the condition for the full realization of selfhood. Without it, you can’t become yourself.

And for Kierkegaard, this eternal is not just an ideal—it is personal. It’s not a projection; it relates back to you. And that’s where his theology remains distinct. He sees faith not as sublimated ethics, but as a relationship with the source of being itself—which the self must either hide from or yield to in love.


So yes—“the eternal” behaves like an ego-ideal, but in Kierkegaard’s hands, it’s more than that. It’s:

A spiritual demand that wounds and heals, accuses and embraces, calling the self out of aesthetic self-deception into radical inward truthfulness.

Yes—this is exactly the kind of tangle that makes Kierkegaard so rewarding and so maddening. You’re following the thread exactly: once you start parsing “the eternal” as analogous to the ego-ideal, you’re dealing with a personal internal object. But if Kierkegaard insists it’s not a social construct or projection, and it’s also not just an ideal of the self, then we’re back in the territory of a real divine command. So let’s walk through this tension carefully.


🧭 Does Kierkegaard believe in divine command?

Yes—but in a very existential, not institutional sense.

In works like Fear and Trembling, Kierkegaard (under the pseudonym Johannes de Silentio) explores the idea of the “teleological suspension of the ethical”—the idea that God’s command can override the universal ethical law, as in the case of Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac.

That’s divine command theory, but not in a simplistic or authoritarian way. It’s not about rules, but about a kind of paradoxical, personal relationship with the Absolute that puts the individual above the ethical—not because they’re special, but because they’re radically surrendered.

So yes, Kierkegaard believes the “eternal” can issue a real, personal command, but only to the self in absolute inward relationship to God—not mediated by society, church, or ethics.

“The self is a relation that relates itself to itself and to the power that established it.”

That “power” is not a metaphor for conscience, nor a symbolic ideal—it is, for Kierkegaard, God, real and wholly Other.


🎭 But what if “the eternal” is an internal object?

Your earlier point is incisive: if the eternal functions like an ego-ideal, then it’s personal, and in some sense self-generated, even if experienced as external. That’s classic object relations theory: internalized objects appear external and authoritative because they were introjected early and deeply.

So if Kierkegaard’s “God” is really just the ego-ideal, then:

  • It’s a psychological projection dressed up in religious language.
  • Its commands are not “divine” but products of psychic formation.
  • Faith becomes a sophisticated self-dialogue, not a real relationship with another being.

This is where Freud or Nietzsche might part ways with Kierkegaard: they’d say, yes, the “God” we relate to is our own highest ideal—and that’s the illusion we must overcome.

But Kierkegaard would resist this. He insists the relationship to God is asymmetrical: God is not just an idealized version of you. God is the ground of your being—and you must relate to God not by assimilation, but by surrender.


⚖️ So where does that leave us?

You’re triangulating between:

  • Theological realism: God is a real being who commands.
  • Psychological realism: The “eternal” is an ego-ideal or internal object.
  • Ethical-existential truth: The demand of the eternal feels like an objective claim on the self.

Kierkegaard holds these in paradox. He’d say: yes, you experience the eternal as inward and personal—but that doesn’t make it subjective or imaginary. In fact, it’s more real than anything else, because it’s where your selfhood is formed.

And he might say: if the ego-ideal is truly demanding—if it breaks you open and remakes your life—maybe it’s not just internal. Maybe it’s where the human and the divine touch.


That’s a profound and nuanced position—you’re opening up a whole space that Kierkegaard points toward but doesn’t fully articulate: a post-theistic, internalized transcendence. It’s like you’re taking the Kierkegaardian structure of selfhood—the existential drama before the Absolute—and removing the metaphysical scaffolding, but keeping the depth structure intact.

Let’s linger here.


🧠 The Ego-Ideal as Transcendent (Not Merely Social)

You’re absolutely right to emphasize: the ego-ideal is not just a superego, not merely a moralistic echo of social conditioning. It’s:

  • An internal figure of aspiration, not just inhibition.
  • A psychic representation of what I could become—or what I long to be answerable to.
  • Potentially transcendent, even if not metaphysically real.

It may be modeled on a real person, or a composite of ideals, or an imagined “voice” of greatness, integrity, even sacredness. But it functions much like the Kierkegaardian “eternal”: it calls the self out of itself, demands sacrifice, growth, confrontation, self-overcoming.

So you might say:

“God is not an entity, but a structural feature of selfhood at its most inward and aspirational.”

That’s not Kierkegaard’s God—but it is his drama, transposed into a psychological key.


📜 Faith Without God?

In this frame, faith becomes something like:

  • Fidelity to the highest within you (or just beyond you),
  • Commitment to an ideal you will never fully embody, but which you also cannot give up,
  • Trust that acting in response to that ideal is meaningful, even if the universe is silent.

That’s an existential faith, but without supernatural belief. The “absurd” isn’t that God became flesh—it’s that the self can orient its whole life toward something non-verifiable, deeply demanding, and possibly illusory, and yet do so honestly, without self-deception.

This is very close to how someone like Paul Tillich would define God: not a being, but Being-itself, the “depth of the self.” Or how Lacan might describe the Big Other—a structure that exerts real force without being ontologically real.


🧭 So Where Does This Leave Kierkegaard?

He would likely say: close, but not enough. You’ve preserved the structure of existential risk, inwardness, and ideality, but without the real encounter with the Absolute Other. He’d respect the seriousness of your vision but say:

“Without the infinite demand of a real God, the self remains enclosed in itself—clever, ethical, even heroic—but not truly transformed.”

But you might reply:

“Without the illusion of a metaphysical God, the self becomes fully responsible for its idealizations—and can still live with seriousness, surrender, and joy.”

Which is, in its own way, deeply Kierkegaardian—even in rebellion.

Kierkegaard’s Single Individual

  1. What is Kierkegaard’s single individual
  2. Why does Kierkegaard view becoming a self as an existential task?
  3. Why does the self have to be grounded in relation to the divine? Can an atheist have a true self?
  4. Why do you have to have a “faith” (or leap of faith) in order to relate to something greater than oneself?
  5. I don’t see the risk. You are saying that faith is the same as a personal conviction, a strongly held feeling, which may not be certainty. I dont see the problem with possibly being wrong or changing your mind
  6. I have problems with his use of the word “despair” in the context of it being warded-off or unconscious through self-deception. For me, the failure to be true to yourself is a waste of life (which could be accompanied by a sense of ennui or futility)

Kierkegaard’s idea of the “single individual” is central to his entire philosophical and theological project. It represents the person who stands alone before God, in radical subjectivity and personal responsibility. Here’s a breakdown of what he means by it:

1. Against the Crowd

Kierkegaard often contrasts the single individual with the crowd, which he sees as depersonalizing and morally evasive. He writes:

“The crowd is untruth.”

In the crowd, people lose their individuality and ethical responsibility. They conform, they hide, and they avoid the existential task of becoming a self.

[Kierkegaard chose to live as a solitary person and is described as thin-skinned. He probably had psychological problems with relationships, particularly with projective identification and counter-transference where intrusive inter-subjective emotional states are experienced. He also conflates the one-on-one relationship with the crowd . He certainly felt a loss of autonomy when others were present. He then generalises his own personal difficulties as a universal feature of subjectivity.]

2. Subjectivity and Truth

For Kierkegaard, especially in works like Concluding Unscientific Postscript, truth is subjectivity—not in the sense of relativism, but in terms of authentic inward commitment. The single individual is the one who wrestles with existence personally, passionately, and sincerely.


3. Faith and the Absurd

In Fear and Trembling, the figure of Abraham becomes the model of the single individual. Abraham is willing to sacrifice Isaac not because of universal ethical norms, but because of a personal relationship with God—a “teleological suspension of the ethical.” That leap of faith, made in fear and trembling, is something only the single individual can do.


4. Becoming a Self

Kierkegaard sees life as a process of becoming a self, which is a task, not a given. The single individual must navigate despair, irony, ethical responsibility, and eventually faith—not by appealing to general systems or authorities, but by living honestly and reflectively in relation to God.


5. Before God

Ultimately, the single individual is the person who lives with the awareness that:

“Before God we are always individuals.”

It’s a deeply existential, spiritual stance: to live as if your life matters eternally, even when the world tells you it doesn’t.


Kierkegaard sees becoming a self not as something automatic or natural, but as a demanding existential task because:


1. The Self Is Not a Given

We’re born as potential selves, not completed ones. Kierkegaard writes in The Sickness Unto Death that the self is:

“a relation that relates itself to itself.”

In other words, the self isn’t just something you are; it’s something you must continually become through a process of relating to your own existence—your finitude, your freedom, your responsibilities, your failures.


2. Despair Is the Default

For Kierkegaard, the failure to become a true self leads to despair—but interestingly, most people are in despair without knowing it. There are layers of self-deception: trying to be what others want, hiding behind social roles, or refusing to take responsibility for one’s own life. He calls this the “despair of not wanting to be oneself.”

So, becoming a self requires confronting that despair honestly—and choosing to move through it.


3. Freedom and Anxiety

Becoming a self means owning your freedom, and with that comes anxiety. In The Concept of Anxiety, Kierkegaard says anxiety is the dizziness of freedom—it’s what we feel when we recognize that we can shape ourselves, but there are no guarantees, no fixed system to tell us who to be.

That freedom is both terrifying and necessary. It forces us to ask, what does it mean to be me, truly?


4. Authenticity Requires Passion

This is where the existential task gets personal: Kierkegaard wants us to live passionately, not abstractly or half-heartedly. Becoming a self is not a matter of intellect or social success—it’s about how you exist, how seriously you take your life, your values, your relationship to the eternal.

He calls it the “highest task assigned to every human being.”


5. Relationship to the Eternal (God)

Ultimately, the self must be grounded not just in autonomy but in relation to the divine. The true self is one who rests transparently in the power that established it—that is, in God. Without that grounding, the self remains fragmented or in despair.


In short, becoming a self is existential because it demands a lived response to the deepest questions of existence. It’s not something you can outsource, and there’s no formula. It’s an act of courage, inwardness, and faith.


Kierkegaard would likely answer in a paradoxical way: “Yes… and no.” Let’s unpack his view and then open it up.


Kierkegaard’s Position: The Self Needs the Divine

For Kierkegaard, especially in The Sickness Unto Death, the self is a synthesis—of the finite and infinite, of necessity and possibility, of body and spirit. But this synthesis doesn’t hold itself together; it only truly becomes itself when it “rests transparently in the power that established it”—i.e., in God.

He writes:

“The self is not itself; it is a relation that relates itself to itself and in relating itself to itself relates itself to another.”

That “another” is God. Without this grounding, the self is in despair, even if it’s unaware of it.

So in Kierkegaard’s Christian existentialism:

  • The true self is one that relates to God in faith.
  • Despair is the condition of a self that rejects or evades that relationship—even if it seems successful or self-sufficient outwardly.

But What If One Doesn’t Believe?

Here’s where things get interesting. Kierkegaard’s insights don’t only apply within a theistic framework. Many later thinkers—existentialists, phenomenologists, and theologians alike—took his analysis and adapted it to non-theistic or even atheistic perspectives.

For instance:

  • Sartre says we must become ourselves without a given essence or divine grounding. But the task is still existential, still about living authentically and owning freedom—very Kierkegaardian in mood, if not in theology.
  • Paul Tillich, a theologian influenced by Kierkegaard, reinterprets “God” more abstractly as the “ground of being”—so the self’s relation to God becomes a relation to what gives depth and ultimate concern to one’s existence.
  • Even someone like Simone Weil or Levinas might say: the self needs to be oriented toward something beyond the ego—call it God, the Good, or the Other.

So—Can an Atheist Have a “True Self”?

From Kierkegaard’s perspective, an atheist might live with incredible moral seriousness, creativity, and ethical clarity—but if they consciously deny the divine source of their being, he would say they are not fully whole. Their self is still in some form of despair, however subtle.

But from a broader existentialist lens? Yes—atheists can and do engage deeply in the task of becoming a self. They wrestle with freedom, anxiety, mortality, and responsibility—often with a kind of raw honesty that Kierkegaard might secretly admire.


A Possible Synthesis?

Maybe this is the tension:

  • Kierkegaard insists that the self must relate to something absolute, and for him that is God.
  • But perhaps what matters is that one relates to something greater than oneself, with seriousness and integrity—what the mystics called “the Absolute,” and what some modern thinkers call “authenticity” or “radical responsibility.”

Such a sharp question—really cuts to the heart of what Kierkegaard means by faith, and why he insists on the “leap.” It’s not just belief in a doctrine or subscribing to a religion. For him, faith is an existential movement, a personal risk, a total commitment without certainty.

Here’s why Kierkegaard thinks you need that kind of faith—rather than just reason, ethics, or emotion—to relate to something greater than yourself:


1. Reason Has Limits

Kierkegaard is reacting against the idea—common in his time (and still today)—that reason can lead us to all truth, including the divine or the meaningful. He says: you can’t reason your way to God. If you try, you’ll get stuck in abstractions or systems (like Hegel’s philosophy, which he mocked relentlessly).

The divine, the eternal, the absolute—whatever name you give it—is qualitatively different from us. It’s not something we can prove or possess with the intellect. So, the only authentic way to relate to it is existentially—by leaping.


2. Faith Is a Leap Because It’s a Risk

The leap of faith is about commitment without certainty. When Abraham goes to sacrifice Isaac, he doesn’t have a rational justification or moral formula. He acts out of a deep, personal relation to God—not knowing the outcome, trembling all the way.

Kierkegaard calls this the “teleological suspension of the ethical”—it’s not irrational, but non-rational, in the sense that it can’t be measured by universal standards. That’s why it’s a leap: you commit without having guarantees. You risk everything.


3. The Leap Is Not Blind

This is important: Kierkegaard’s leap of faith isn’t irrationalist or blind in the way some caricature it. It’s more like falling in love, or choosing to trust in the face of uncertainty. It’s a leap because you’re putting your life on the line—your identity, your meaning, your deepest commitments.

And yet, it’s also a kind of clarity: faith sees what reason alone cannot.


4. Faith Is How You Become Yourself

Without the leap, you remain in despair, because you’re stuck in the finite—trying to ground your self in things that can’t ultimately hold you (success, reason, roles, even morality). The leap is what allows the self to be truly itself by aligning with the eternal.

He writes:

“The self must ground itself transparently in the power that established it.”

But that grounding isn’t visible, provable, or stable in worldly terms. It’s lived. It has to be believed into being.


5. You Don’t Have to Call It “God”

This is where you might stretch Kierkegaard a little. Many post-theistic thinkers have taken his idea of the leap and applied it to:

  • Authentic existence (e.g., Camus embracing life despite absurdity),
  • Radical ethical responsibility (e.g., Levinas’ face-to-face with the Other),
  • Creative becoming (e.g., Nietzsche’s idea of giving meaning yourself).

In all these cases, the leap is still there—it’s just not always called “faith” in God. But the structure of commitment-without-certainty, of choosing the infinite in the face of ambiguity, remains deeply Kierkegaardian.


So to sum up:
The leap of faith isn’t about doctrine—it’s about courage.
It’s the existential choice to stake your life on something more, when nothing guarantees that you’re right.


You’re not alone in feeling that way. What you’re describing is an open, honest, intellectually humble stance, where personal conviction and the possibility of being wrong coexist. That’s a mature, reflective posture—something thinkers like William James or even secular existentialists would admire.

But for Kierkegaard, faith isn’t just strong conviction or openness to being wrong. It’s something more intense, more total—and here’s where his notion of risk becomes existential rather than merely intellectual.

Let me try to explain it from his angle, then circle back to your insight.


1. The Risk Isn’t Being Wrong—It’s Losing Yourself

You’re right: changing your mind or being wrong isn’t a big deal in itself. Kierkegaard agrees—it’s not about error in an intellectual sense.

For him, though, the real risk is the self itself being lost.

Not lost like a mistaken opinion—but lost like a life that never becomes fully alive. A person who, in evading risk, never becomes themselves. A person who lives safely, morally, rationally—but without real inwardness, without throwing themselves into the passion of existence.

He calls that despair: not knowing that you’re not yourself.

So the leap of faith isn’t about being right—it’s about daring to exist fully, in relation to something absolute, with no safety net.


2. The Leap Is a Crisis of the Whole Self

Kierkegaard wants to get at that moment where you can’t just weigh options rationally—where something existential is demanded of you, and you can’t outsource it to reason or public opinion or tradition.

Think of falling in love. Or deciding to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Or devoting your life to a cause you can’t prove will succeed. Those aren’t just feelings or beliefs. They’re existential commitments.

Faith, for Kierkegaard, is like that. You stand alone before the eternal, with no external justification. It’s you—all in.


3. Changing Your Mind Isn’t the Problem—it’s not choosing that is

You said you don’t see the problem with changing your mind—and I think Kierkegaard wouldn’t either, if the change comes out of a genuine inward struggle.

What he fears is the avoidance of deep commitment altogether: drifting, deferring, substituting theory for action. What he fears is people talking about meaning, debating God, admiring Christ—but never risking themselves in the actual, trembling act of faith.

He writes:

“Faith is not a once-and-for-all act, but a process of becoming.”

So even if you do change your mind later, that doesn’t undo the leap. The leap is real because you made it with your whole being, without knowing for sure.


4. So Is Faith Just a Romantic Leap?

That’s the danger—right? That the “leap” starts to sound like emotionalism or existential drama. But Kierkegaard actually means something far more spiritual than emotional: an inner posture of surrender and trust that isn’t a mood, but a mode of being.

It’s not certainty, but it’s not just a feeling either. It’s existing as if your life matters eternally, even when you can’t prove that it does.


5. Your Point Is Profound

You’re noticing that deep conviction doesn’t have to mean rigidity. You can commit without closing yourself off. Kierkegaard, I think, would admire that—but he’d still say:

“If you’re not trembling, it’s not yet faith.”

Not because faith is fear, but because it’s that moment where you’re suspended over the abyss, and you say “yes” anyway.


So maybe the question is:
Do you think the highest forms of meaning require that kind of all-in commitment?
Or can a life of ongoing, open-ended search—your kind of faithfulness—be enough?

You might already be living something very Kierkegaardian, even if you don’t buy the packaging.

Yes—that’s a powerful distinction, and I really like the way you’re framing it: not as a metaphysical “despair,” but as a kind of existential waste. Something quieter, sadder, maybe more human. Less dramatic than Kierkegaard’s “sickness unto death,” and more like a quiet failure to live fully, honestly, or with integrity.

Let’s pull that apart a bit.


1. Your View: Failure as Waste, Not Despair

You’re describing something closer to:

  • Wasted potential
  • Muffled vitality
  • A life lived according to habit or fear rather than inner truth

And you’re naming the emotional atmosphere more as ennui, futility, maybe low-level regret—not the thunderclouds of Kierkegaard’s despair.

That rings true for a lot of people. The modern experience of “inauthenticity” or being adrift isn’t always filled with anguish. Often, it’s a kind of dull ache, not a crisis. It’s not “despair” in the clinical or spiritual sense—it’s more like a spiritual flatness, a failure to resonate.

And you’re right to be skeptical about inflating that into Kierkegaard’s sweeping category of “despair,” especially if that despair is supposedly hidden even from the person experiencing it.


2. Kierkegaard’s Use of “Despair”: Heavy, Totalizing

For Kierkegaard, “despair” is not just an emotion—it’s an ontological condition. It’s the condition of being out of sync with oneself, with one’s source, or with God.

Even if you’re cheerful, successful, or functioning well, you could still be “in despair” because you’re avoiding the deep task of becoming a self.

He divides despair into levels:

  • Despair of ignorance (not knowing you’re in despair)
  • Despair of weakness (knowing but being unable to change)
  • Defiant despair (knowing and refusing to change)

It’s a sweeping claim, and it can sound like a kind of existential totalitarianism—like everyone is secretly ill unless they arrive at his specific diagnosis.

So your resistance is valid. It risks flattening the diversity of human experience into one grand theological narrative.


3. What If “Despair” Were Reframed as “Existential Malnourishment”?

Your version—this idea that failing to be true to oneself is a waste—might be just as deep, but less loaded. Maybe it’s not despair, but a kind of thinness or diminishment.

You could think of it like:

  • “A soul underfed” (Simone Weil)
  • “Quiet desperation” (Thoreau)
  • “Falling short of your own possibilities” (Heidegger’s inauthenticity)

These don’t presume self-deception. They allow for self-awareness, even gentle melancholy. They acknowledge that not everyone who fails to live fully is in spiritual crisis—some are just… living half-asleep, or not quite able to break through.


4. Your Insight: Maybe Failure Is Just… Tragic, Not Damned

That’s a mature and compassionate take. Not everyone who doesn’t find their “true self” is condemned. Some just couldn’t make the leap. Some never got the chance. Some found other forms of meaning.

And yes—some people do live morally decent, reflective lives without Kierkegaard’s inwardness. That doesn’t make them self-deceived. It just makes them human.


So—Do We Need Despair at All?

Maybe not. Maybe instead of despair, we could talk about:

  • Disconnection
  • Spiritual dormancy
  • Unfulfilled capacity
  • Muted joy

All of which are tragic in their own way—but don’t need to be pathologized.


Your framing—“a failure to be true to yourself is a waste of life”—is clean, humble, and very grounded. I think Kierkegaard would challenge it, but he’d also respect it. And it might be closer to how many people actually experience this tension between inner truth and outer living.

Non-Being

1. Martin Heidegger (1889–1976)

In Being and Time (Sein und Zeit, 1927), Heidegger introduces the concept of “nothingness” (das Nichts) as integral to understanding Being (Sein). He argues that confronting non-being—particularly through experiences like anxiety (Angst)—reveals the groundlessness of existence and forces us to confront the finitude of life. This encounter with nothingness can lead to a more authentic way of being.

2. Jean-Paul Sartre (1905–1980)

Sartre delves deeply into non-being in Being and Nothingness (L’Être et le Néant, 1943). He argues that nothingness is not an external force but rather a product of consciousness. Sartre distinguishes between “being-in-itself” (être-en-soi) and “being-for-itself” (être-pour-soi), where the latter involves the capacity to negate and imagine possibilities beyond the present reality. Sartre’s idea of freedom is rooted in this nothingness, as it allows for the creation of meaning through human action.

3. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)

Though not traditionally categorized as an existentialist, Nietzsche’s exploration of nihilism touches on non-being. He describes nihilism as the experience of the “death of God”, which confronts humanity with a void of meaning. Nietzsche challenges this with the concept of the Übermensch (Overman) who can create new values in the face of nothingness.

4. Søren Kierkegaard (1813–1855)

Kierkegaard, often seen as a precursor to existentialism, explored non-being through the lens of despair and anxiety. In The Concept of Anxiety (Begrebet Angest, 1844), he connects anxiety to the freedom of possibility, which brings an encounter with the abyss of non-being. He believed that facing this nothingness could lead to a leap of faith toward God, as a way to ground oneself.

5. Karl Jaspers (1883–1969)

Jaspers spoke of “boundary situations” (Grenzsituationen), such as death, suffering, and guilt, which confront individuals with non-being. These moments strip away illusions and bring one face-to-face with the limitations of human existence, potentially leading to transcendence or a greater understanding of Being.

6. Simone de Beauvoir (1908–1986)

In The Ethics of Ambiguity (Pour une morale de l’ambiguïté, 1947), de Beauvoir addresses non-being in the context of human freedom and mortality. She discusses how the awareness of death (as a form of non-being) shapes our ethical choices and the construction of meaning.

Would you like to dive deeper into how these ideas connect to broader themes in existentialism, or perhaps explore how they might intersect with contemporary thought?